Diego’s billy goat was
outside the gated front garden area between the fence and the highway. The
handlers stood patiently on one side of the gate hoping to get the attention of
one of the family members but even with the dogs’ persistent barking, no one
appeared from inside the house.
Since the handlers had
the opportunity to view Diego’s billy goat up close, they admired his roman
nose, his stature, and noticed an insidious odor typical of billy goats.
There was no sign of
anyone coming out of the house, so Male Handler (MH) went back to the car to
grab a piece of paper of which they could write a note. They wrote asking
Diego to call the handlers as they wanted his goat to “meet our female goat." While
MH was attempting to put it on the gate latch, both handlers noticed that the
billy goat’s tether was not actually attached to anything! And the billy goat
was attempting to rear up as if to plant his head against another head.
This particular billy
goat is really the size of a pony, probably weighs at least a couple of hundred
pounds. Thinking quickly what might be the outcome of this situation (death by
head butt), the Handlers did what any normal person would do in that
situation…..they ran to the car.
The billy goat did the
same.
For a while the billy
goat blocked the escape route by standing behind the car thereby preventing the
handlers from backing out of the driveway. Fortunately, the billy goat tired of
the situation and left to find more to eat, and the handlers drove away.
About two hours later,
the handlers received a call from Diego. Of course, no problem, sure, come
over, get my goat….click. Wait, what did that mean? Call again…. The handlers attempted to
explain that they would like to bring Timida over to Diego’s house. Diego
attempted to explain that while this fine, where would they put two goats as he
did not have an enclosed pen. As it turned out, the handlers have an old dog
pen, and this might work for a quick rendezvous. Call again…explain, and the
reply was “great, come over and get my goat and we’ll carry him over to your
place.”
After increasing the
cargo hold of the camioneta by eliminating the back seat, off MH went to
Diego’s and off Female Handler (FH) went to get Timi ready for the date. This
meant going down the hill to the back of the orchard, and separating her from
her brother. There was much protest by all, and FH was pretty sure all the
neighbors could hear the commotion and fairly confident that Animal Control
would not be called to investigate. Distressed animal sounds were a normal part
of rural living.
MH finally returned,
and when FH saw his expression as he got out of the camioneta, she knew
something was amiss. Diego had not come. MH explained that all he understood
from Diego was “see you in a bit” as he watched Diego go back in his house.
Wait…what does this mean? Diego knows this animal, but the handlers did not,
and already Diego’s goat had tried to head butt them so this could really end
badly….and who would know? The headlines would read…”two gringos died of
blunt force trauma to the head while two satisfied goats looked on.”
FH called Diego. Diego
explained that his goat will be fine, he’s mellow, and finally…”call me if you
need anything” which is really how every conversation ends with Uruguayans. But
FH explained “he’s HUGE!” Diego just laughed, and click, the line went dead.
But as it was, Diego
had so efficiently tied the hoofs together that his billy goat was laying on
his side taking up the entire cargo hold space, but most importantly ...completely immobile. MH relayed how
Diego had grabbed the goat by his horns and tackled him to the ground, and
…”really, it looked easy enough.” He had tied three hoofs together, and then
added the fourth one. Then holding the goat by the horns, Diego had dragged him
across the gravel driveway (!!) and lifted his head into the cargo hold of the
camioneta, while MH pushed the goat’s rear up into the cargo hold as well.
With trepidation, the
Handlers undid the rope around the billy goats’ hooves, and the billy goat immediately
sprang to life and was up on all fours. In an attempt to be alpha goat, FH
lead him with purpose to the dog pen where Timi was making it known that she
did not like being left completely alone. Quite possibly Timi saved their lives
with her incessant bleating. It had captured his immediate attention even from
inside the camioneta.
What was to be a quickie,
ended up being soured slighted by a torrential rain storm in which no animal
moved. Thereafter with some sniffing, some poking, and tail wagging on Timi’s part…it was
love at first sight. The handlers were not quite sure how compatible little
Timi would be with a very large billy goat, but everything seemed to go as
nature would have it.
Once the Handlers were
satisfied that the billy goat had done his job (5 times…), FH took him by his lead (which was totally an
unimpressive rope looking more like a piece of thick yarn after I’ve gotten
through tearing through it) and guided him to the camioneta. MH talking through
what Diego had done while simultaneously doing what Diego did to make his goat
go down to the ground and ultimately be on his side only created an interesting
scene of conflicting will power and determination.
Oh, and the goat was most
definitely winning.
While MH was putting
all his weight on the goat’s horns and pointing them toward the ground, FM was
making an attempt to grab the back hooves. This only made the goat splay out
his front hooves. Finally the brilliant idea of pulling his back hooves out and
away from his front hooves forced the goat to be sprawled belly first and then
together they pushed him on his side. SUCCESS. Quick tie the hooves! Now that
the goat had four hooves tied, they could pull him across the grass (which was
MUCH nicer than being pulled across gravel as was done earlier) and start to
inch him into the cargo hold of the vehicle. After much grunting, pushing and
pulling mostly by MH, the goat was in the camioneta, and the handlers were on
their way to Diego’s to return the goat. The stunned silence of having survived
the experience was only broken by the sound of the windows being quickly rolled down to
disperse some of the billy goat odor.
Chochi goes into heat
in the next couple of days.
Oh my word. We get to
repeat this.
